Greetings True Believers!

So the summer season was pretty dry this year… and it didn’t rain very much either. Ba dum tshh. Really though, most summer release schedules, as least in the gaming world, are slower than the fall and winter ones, so it was pretty much par for the course in 2010. There were a few major titles out, Metroid: The Other M probably being the most notable, but all in all just a regular slow summer. What that allows us, though, is a chance to follow the development of upcoming FALL releases. We await our main event pugilists with baited breath, neurotically hitting F5 as our salivation towels reach saturation. Well, not me of course. I just occasionally check the dev websites, because I’m really cool and I have things to do. Those sexy secret agent girls aren’t going to save themselves. The game I’m talking about, I’m sure you’ve guessed, is Halo: Reach. Well, you guessed wrong, (stupid)buddy. Not even I can get that one ahead of release date. No, the title I followed all summer like a giddy fanboy is Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions. A game which promises, and delivers so hard on, just one thing: that you will swing around as four different Spider-men, listen to them say funny one-liners, and beat up so many bad guys you’ll make John McClane jealous. I guess that’s three things, but listen, you, don’t start telling me how to count… things.

Shattered Dimensions starts off with the titular Spider-Man facing off against Mysterio in a museum. In the ensuing brawl, an ancient relic is broken and scattered across four dimensions. The Spider-Men from each world must locate the various pieces of the relic, lest they fall into the wrong hands and spell certain doom for the world! The plot is SO rediculously comics it’s impossible to not find it charming. The whole game is complete fan-service. The visuals are pretty slick, with each Spider-Man travelling through worlds in their own setting, facing villains tailored to their theme. There’s the “Amazing Spider-Man” we all know and love, sporting a lighter, more cartoony feel. He’s also voiced by Neil Patrick Harris, which is awesome. Second is “Ultimate Spider-Man”, wearing that universe’s black suit, and with a more cel-shaded look, voiced by Josh Keaton from the recent Spectacular Spider-Man cartoon. There’s the rarely seen “Spider-Man 2099″ universe, which if full of so much neon I don’t even have a hyperbole for it, featuring Dan Gilvezan from the 80′s Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends. Finally we have a fairly recent variant, from 2008, with “Spider-Man: Noir”, whose world is grainy, sepia toned, and muted. He’s voiced by Christopher Daniel Barnes, from the 90′s Amazing Spider-Man cartoon, which is so awesomely unbelievably cool it’s awesomely unbelievable.
The combat system will feel very familiar if you’ve played any Spider-Man game in the last ten years. Web moves, punches, dodging etc. There’s nothing particularly new here. Amazing, Ultimate, and 2099 have fairly similar play styles, with some different movesets and strategies, but Noir is set up more like a stealth action game. It’s a good mix of designs that keeps it interesting. The bosses are fun and challenging, requiring varied strategies to defeat. The gameplay isn’t really innovative here, but it’s not really the point of the game either. The point is FOUR SPIDER-MANS.

Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions is definately a good game. I loved it, but I realize I’m incredibly biased. I mean, I own four different Spider-Man shirts. Objectively, it’s got some groovy visuals, and tons of fanservice, but the gameplay isn’t all that original. Fanboyism aside, I’d say it’s a definite rental, probably only good enough to buy if you’re into the genre or Spidey in particular. At any rate, pick it up somehow, and enjoy. Right now. I mean it, go do it. Seriously, put down the paper, go to a video store somewhere, and get it. Why are you still reading? Don’t make me get the whip.

Ground Control to Major Tom.

A Psychological Action Thriller. Right there on the cover. Many movies, books, or games have used those words to boost sales, and every time, I am sorely disappointed. I remember when Saw was being advertised for the first time, and every commercial used that exact sentance to describe the movie. Nothing but lies. Lies and fucking slander.

In the case of Alan Wake, the newest release by Remedy Studios, a more fitting tagline could not have been found. Remedy, makers of the fucking phenominal Max Payne games, have shown once again that they are one of the best in the business at their craft. They have taken some old tropes, applied them to a game’s structure, and mixed them together in such a seamless way, that it results in a wholly new idea. Alan Wake is an excellent mix of subtle horror, tense action, and engaging plot. It is, in every sense, a psychological action thriller. Not to mention it has an excellent soundtrack.

The game starts with the titular Alan Wake, a successful writer, narrating himself through a nightmare. He is being hunted by a murderer of his own creation, and is led through the rapidly destabalizing landscape by a being of intense light. As he snaps out of his sleep, he is comforted by his wife Alice. They’re about to arrive in Bright Falls, a small isolated town in the pacific northwest. Alan hasn’t written anything in two years, and they’ve decided that a break away from New York might cure his block. As they embark into the town, meet the people, and get directions to their cabin, some weird shit starts going down. The isolated cabin is nothing less than hair shrivelingly creepy, complete with crows, animal trophies, and rickety shacks. Moments after the sun goes down, the real nighmare begins.

The game cuts to Alan, bloody and confused, hanging from his car at the bottom of a cliff. From here we must navigate him past the darkness to safety and, more importantly, answers. The plot is, weirdly enough, episodic. Each new episode starts with “previously on Alan Wake”, which I thought was kind of cool, personally. Like the story was a little miniseries. At the beginning of each episode, Alan’s circumstances turn to shit, and he is thrust into the night, armed only with a flashlight. The game’s main mechanic is to combat with light. You have a flashlight that you can use to weaken enemies, wich can then be finished off with your revolver. You can also pick up flares, a flare gun, and even Flashbang grenades. Some situations require you to be creative with ambient light sources, and overall the idea stays fresh.

Alan Wake‘s plot is intriguing and incredibly well written. When a story has multiple perspectives and layers, and I can’t tell which one is real, I would say it succeeds. The setting is tense and spooky, blended with a subtle layer of dread. At certain points, I found myself actually not wanting to explore for pickups, because fuck dude, I’m not going down that path. That way is dark and scary, and there’s no way. This game actually managed to override my gaming OCD habits. Kudos.

So I loved this game. It’s a solid story wrapped in some solid gameplay. That said, I finished it in a couple days, so I still recommend renting it rather than buying. A surprise title out of the always dark Remedy studios, it’s definately worth checking out.

I am a great eater of beef, and I believe that does harm to my wit.

I think that’s from King Henry the 5th. The play, not the long dead English monarch. I dunno, I heard it somewhere. Anyways, WordPress would NOT upload my review of Left 4 Dead 2, despite my multiple attempts, so it can eat a dick. Also, the paper I just luckily accidentally started writing for is off for the summer, so now I have no deadlines, thus no motivation to finish games quickly, other than that I get shit if they’re not returned to work on time. I actually have a backlog of titles I want to finish right now. Some because I’ve never played them and damn well should, and some because I started them and never finished. I think I get distracted too easily by

Oh shit, I did it again. What was my point? Right, the time issues regarding the hobby of vidya games in that there does not exist enough of it. I literally do not have enough time in the day to play to completion all the games coming out, nevermind older gen games I never tried when they were new. And I mean, like… even if that was all I did, AND I only stuck to the games that I knew about. If I quit my job, and did nothing but eat sleep and game, I’d be a total loser. Wait, no, I’d be broke. No, shit, I mean I still wouldn’t have enough time to finish all the games coming out. Not that I’m going to stop, let’s not be crazy pants here, but it occurs to me that gaming has become polarized as of late. You’re either completely casual, or you’re fucking hardcore, and if you’re hardcore it’s with ONE game. There’s no middle ground anymore. This isn’t a hobby a kid could just pick up like we used to way back when, they’d never be able to afford it. Even adults can’t afford it, if they want to enjoy the whole spectrum of gaming. In this coming decade, it appears as though the only people capable of being actually into gaming, without drowning in the pastime, are those that are in and/or next to the business. The people whose job allows them access to current equipment and titles for minimal or no cost, be they reviewers, designers, or just people who know people, y’know? Which isn’t their fault, either, it’s just where they ended up. I doubt they laugh maniacally over it. Point is, gaming is an industry now, and it’s moving WAY faster than anyone could have expected. A lot of people are gonna miss out because they don’t have the money, or more likely the time, to keep up with it. I just hope there’s still room for people like that in the future.